United’s Not So Premium Service (p.s.)

On our way back from Sydney (that’s in Australia for those of you who never go anywhere), Elsa and I flew United Airlines. The SYD-LAX leg was long, but uneventful.  After a two hour delay at LAX, we transferred to the LAX-EWR leg.

For those of you who routinely turn RIGHT (Coach) when you enter a plane, you may not be aware that when you turn LEFT (Business or First), flight attendants typically offer each passenger a hot towel which is gingerly offered using genuine imitation silver tongs.  On this particular occasion, our flight attendant literally SHOVED a brown plastic tray loaded with steaming hot towels in our faces and indicated that we should just “grab one”.  Fetch one’s own towel?  Elsa practically burnt her paw picking up the damn thing.

Incredulously, the used towel retrieval process was even worse.  The “hostess” came to collect them wearing a surgical glove.  Elsa had a flashback to the proctologist’s office and went barking mad,  I said wryly, “This simply never happens at Claridge’s.”

Domestic flights are a bitch.  Oh, did we mention no Champagne?  Only… Prosecco.  What is le monde coming to?

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